What does “up-leveling” mean? Here’s what happens when you feel like you’re up-leveling (and what to do about it).
Up-leveling within yourself and for your business is usually not comfortable! In actual fact it can feel pretty awful.
Over the last couple of years my business has grown very consistently and also in sudden and unexpected spurts. Just like a child in fact!
This year I want to take my business to the next level once again. Doing so creates a lot of feelings that need to come out.
Luckily for me, I’ve now come to recognise the feelings, so I know what’s happening and what I can do about it.
Firstly it’s important to recognise and become aware of the feelings that you, personally, are experiencing.
You might:
- Start to doubt yourself again, even though you’d been starting to feel pretty darn good about yourself and your business
- Feel your inner critic coming out and start to get narky, when it’s been quiet for a while
- Start to have imposter syndrome rearing its ugly head. You feel like a fraud and like you “can’t do this”
- Feel anxious and tingly. This might feel like you are "contracting" or feel scary, or you might feel "expansive" and excited but jittery.
- Have heightened emotions and be over sensitive.
- Feel overwhelmed by everything. Even the very small things feel like “too much”
- Lack motivation and have no energy or focus, even for things you usually enjoy
-
Feel sick or have a change of appetite
Or even something else!
Sometimes it can feel amazing, but why does it feel so awful at other times?
It’s because your primitive brain – the flight or fight part – is doing its best to keep you safe by stopping you from acting on your exciting big plans. Big plans come with a risk. Risk can be dangerous. Your brain doesn’t like dangerous so it tries to stop you from moving forward.
OK. So now we know how rubbish it sometimes feels, let’s talk about what can we do about these feelings. How can we move forward?
Here are five strategies that help me:
1. recognise what’s really true in this moment
Is your inner critic rearing its ugly head? When we’re uplevelling, it’s very normal for our inner critic to start telling you
- “You’re not good enough!”
- “Who do you think you are!”
- “You can’t do that!!”
Recognise it for what it is – a part of yourself wanting to keep you safe and to keep you in your comfort zone. At this point, it’s really important to remember not to believe everything your brain tells you!!
Ask yourself: “Where’s the evidence for this thought?” “What do I know to really be true in this moment?”
It may be that you do need to take on some extra learnings and training, to better serve your clients to their next level and take your business and offerings to the next level. However, be wary of using this as a procrastination tool!
2. Recognise what is within your control and act on that.
There are a lot of things we CAN NOT control!! Even though we might like to!
We can’t control what other people do or think or how they behave. We can’t control the weather or even what is going on in the world. We can only control what we can do or feel and how WE behave.
A good question to ask yourself is “What are some the things I can do, that can affect a change right now?”
It’s all too easy to get caught up in tricky life situations where things are outside our control yet we get sucked in, and it causes a lot of stress and anxiety.
For example, at the time of writing we’re in the middle of a pandemic, I would love to go back to the UK to visit my family. That’s just not possible. Instead of stressing over it, I’m not going to let it upset me. What I can do is video call my UK family and friends, send notes and cards and plenty of photos. Not quite the same but it’s something that is within my control.
The other thing I can do is to remember why I’m here, stay my course and continue to show up in my business. Even if it’s just one little thing a day.
Which takes me to my next point…
3. Make a plan and stick to it
I love ticking things off a list. I feel that making a list and ticking things off gives me a sense of control and focus over what I can do for that day. And a great sense of satisfaction as well.
Use a diary, notebook or use the many different digital options (like Trello) and plan out what you want to do that day.
I always say to myself and my clients when motivation and energy is lacking “One step at a time. One day at a time. One hour at a time or even one minute at a time. Just do one thing a day to move your business forward”.
So make a list. And then tackle each thing, one at a time.You’ll be amazed at how much you can do by the end of the day, by the end of the week. It’s such a great feeling.
In saying that, please don’t make your list unachievable because it’ll cause you to feel bad about yourself. Be kind to yourself. If it’s one of “those days”, do one thing (no matter how small it is) for your business and then take the rest of the day off. Incorporate that into your list. I do and it’s very important. You deserve that. The things we’re doing are not easy.
4. Remember it’s ok to ask for help and support
You can receive help in tangible and intangible ways.
What does this mean? This means you don’t have to do this all on your own. In fact you’re going to need your people around you more than ever when you’re up-leveling.
Tangible help can be hiring a VA, getting some extra help from your partner, your kids. Have you got a mentor or a coach to support you? Or help you with some specific next steps?
Intangible help could include talking to trusted friends, your partner, your mentor/coach or any like-minded support network groups you are in. Just sharing your thoughts and fears out loud, giving voice to them helps them start to recede into the background.
Being able to talk it out, helps massively with letting it out and not bottling up your feelings. You’re not alone.
5. Give yourself a health check - mental, physical and spiritual health.
When we’re stretching and pushing our own boundaries and comfort zones, it causes stress to our body. We need to nourish our body so it can meet and accommodate what we want to achieve over the next weeks and months.
This means taking regular breaks, doing some deep breathing, meditation, exercise, stretches. Anything that can move or relax your body and mind in moments of time throughout your day.
You could also have a change of scenery. Work in a different room or outside. Go out in nature and find joy in the small things by practising gratitude daily. Creativity strikes you in the gaps between work.
Even though you may not feel like eating (or you might be comfort eating!) – aim to eat nourishing and healthy food to replenish your body. Not eating enough or eating stodgy comfort food only makes us feel sludgy and even more tired.
Make sure you get enough sleep, by going to bed at a reasonable time. Don’t burn the midnight oil every night hoping to get to the end of that “to do” list (truth bomb: it won’t happen!) Spend your evening doing activities that quieten your mind and help you relax.
Don’t forget that if you have persistent feelings of lethargy or a lack of motivation it might be worth seeing a doctor as you may be lacking nutrients or be low on iron, or your thyroid or hormones could be out of whack.
And mostly as mentioned above – BE KIND TO YOURSELF!
This is the time to be your own best friend.
If in doubt I always suggest a great self-coaching question is “What does [your name] need today?”
By the way – you’re going to be experiencing this regularly as you grow yourself and your business, it’s inevitable. Prepare yourself for this at least once every 12 months and call me if you need to vent!